“Love the Life you have, Create the Life you want…”
I’m Tania Marsden. I live and practice in Nelson and Golden Bay, New Zealand, and worldwide through online consultations.
Everything I offer here is intended to help you live the most magical life you can possibly have – your own!
I have come from a place of being the most deeply traumatised person I knew, to being the happiest person I know – it was a hard but beautiful road that I travelled, and I have some really good news:
It doesn’t have to be that hard for you. It doesn’t have to take you years to embrace who you are! You can begin right here, right now, to find a new relationship with your self and your life. We live in a different paradigm of healing and consciousness now than when I got my ‘wake up call’. What I had to strive through to find answers for are now right in front of you. Times have changed. And you already know that, now more than ever, we need to ‘be the change we want to see in the world’. Everything is easier in the new energy we are moving into, and there is incredible spiritual support available to you for your healing, abundance, and happiness.
For over 21 years I’ve been on this intentional path to discover how to heal – myself and others – and there are several things that are totally clear to me today.
- Healing is an exciting adventure of discovering and aligning with who you really are. It is not trying to fix something about you that’s broken. It is a process that will continue for your whole life, and that’s normal for everyone. And very few people on this planet actually know how to heal themselves.
- Everyone is an amazing person. Everyone has a life that could be a movie of triumph over adversity, a story of great potential fulfilled. Full of twists and turns and helpful teachers, plans and ‘what actually happened’, signs and sychronicities – full of magic that only you can really reveal and understand. And a lot of people in this world wish they could be living some other life.
- The ‘mind-body connection’ is a real thing. It’s not just a connection – your Spirit, Mind and Body are One. But what we usually think of as our mind – our conscious everyday thoughts – is the smallest part. When we can tap into our Subconscious mind, our Higher Self/Soul Compass, and the Innate knowing of our Body Intelligence, we can recognise and release Belief Systems or traumatic memories that are creating imbalance, pain, illness or negative patterns in our body and life. You can’t do ‘surgery’ for this kind of healing, (although surgery can be part of healing) You can’t take pills for it either, but if you need them, you need them. This kind of healing is all about energy and consciousness, and it is incredibly powerful, and it is a ‘light touch’ too – gentle and nurturing. And most people have no idea how to tap into the deeper parts of themselves.
- Many people awaken to their spiritual nature and then start wondering what ‘their purpose’ is. We think it’s ‘a thing’ we need to find out and then begin doing or giving. You know, to ‘heal the world’.
But what I am shown every day as I work with hundreds of people is that each of us ARE our purpose. It’s by being our true and authentic self that we fulfill life purpose, and our life’s work is shown to us through our passion and joy – what we naturally love! And we often think our purpose involves struggle or hardship, not ease and joy.
I have learnt these things because I have lived them.
It took me a long time to see that my normal, everyday existence was in fact extraordinary magic, and I want to help you see that about YOU.
I used to say “I’m a healer because of Grief”. I even blogged about it.
I knew Grief inside and out, backwards and forwards. Upside-down even. I’ve been through what people call ‘the dark night of the soul’. These days, I understand that my soul was totally ok with everything that was happening, and that I finally caught up!
Like a lot of women, I wanted a beautiful and loving family. I wanted to create a home where everybody felt loved and nurtured and we had heaps of fun together. My deep desire to be a Mother happened at quite a young age. I gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy when I was 22, and like most Mothers, discovered what Love really is that day. Nothing can quite prepare you for how deeply you’re going to care – it is an irrevocable change, a complete transformation of ourselves. I was ecstatic. I felt I became a truer self as a Mother, and I embraced it fully.
So it blew my heart up when his Father did not feel the same. I’d watched him change while I was pregnant, and I didn’t understand why. The man who told me I was ‘the one’, who declared to my parents and to me that he considered himself my husband, my life partner, firstly left me for another woman, then left this life altogether. He left us all with deep trauma. He left me with a completely broken heart, and a very troubled mind – I questioned to the point of near madness how this ever could have happened. Terrible guilt plagues survivors of Suicide. It’s too easy to think it’s our fault, that there’s something wrong with us. That we should have known.
I actually had one of the most amazing times of my life at his death. I got a huge ‘download’ and I saw something clearly: “this will be the making of me”. I had just written a proclamation that transformation was about to happen in my life, it was a powerful Pluto transit and I could feel something coming. I had no idea it was going to be Quite. That. Big.
But partly because of what I had written, I could not deny the perfection of what was happening. I felt the veils between the worlds was thin….I saw my Grady in everything, the sky especially. The Thunder. The Fire. I felt him, I knew his Spirit. I knew he knew me, finally. I felt Honour and Respect. It was powerful. But as everyone else’s life returned ‘to normal’, mine did not. A terrible doubt crept in as that magic seemed to fade.
A total meaningless.
I felt like I had died, so completely and utterly over was my life. It all just felt like there was no point in any of it….
…except for this little boy. This radiant, happy, gorgeous ray of light. How can you think life is not beautiful when a sweet wee thing chirps at you all day about bugs and trucks and stuff?! I could never, ever consider leaving him. I was desperately trying to keep my heaviness off him, suffering from that guilt only parents truly understand – we had such pure desire to bring our children joy, and here we are frustrated and depleted, or worse, feeling like an emotional wreck as I was. So I only had one choice – I’d just have to find out how to heal myself.
At the one year anniversary: I was celebrating. I was still alive! I was getting somewhere! Time really is a healer!
Two Year Anniversary: THIS SUCKS. Whoever said time was a healer didn’t know shit. I still feel terrible. I just start to feel joy and something shoves me back down. I’ll obviously never be happy again. I’ll definitely never be who I was. I’m never going to ‘get over it’. How can anyone get over this anyway?! I clearly got tricked. He obviously never loved me. And why would you?
I’m just… broken.
I tried counselling. It was awful. Except for one session, which I now realise was the only time she helped me tap into my subconcsious. I hated talking for an hour about how bad I felt, then having to go home feeling ultra aware of how heavy it all really was. I just couldn’t escape that something terrible happened to me.
I got ‘helpful’ advice from people that I must have a mental illness. You know, ‘depression’. That just made me feel really angry. Did they not realise something terrible happened to me?! I was absolutely not going to take medication, and in any case, how terrifying is it as a single parent to ask for help from a system that may decide you’re too broken and take your child from you? What if I ‘broke down’ and they thought I ‘wasn’t coping’? I was coping…that was part of the problem!
People shared other stuff with me. Like dreams they’d had. All of it was pretty dark. I discovered a lot of people have some really bad Beliefs about what happens to people who die, especially those who kill themselves. They’re stuck in another dimension where they can never move on. In horrible pain. UGH. (It isn’t true, by the way) That really didn’t help either…
But finally, I did find something. And it really did help…
In 1998, just after that 2nd year anniversary, I was reading a book about Essential Oils, thinking I’d learn Aromatherapy. It was that book, full of gorgeous photos of flowers, that was my first teasing introduction to Flower Essences. But the most important thing it showed me was that I had an Intuitive relationship with Nature energies, and that I could feel it in my body. I had access to one of the most healing springs on the planet, a place that was healing for me to visit too. I started making Essences with absolutely no idea what I was doing, just that I had to do it.
About a week later, I did my first Reiki Attunement. I felt the biggest love I had ever received that weekend. It was a beautiful awakening of energy in my whole body and being. I walked the beach with a whole new sensation in my feet, I touched everything with a whole new powerful energy in my hands, and I felt a new beginning for my life. It was energy healing, pure and simple.
The same weekend, I received my first ever Neurolink session.
That session was the most powerful body release I have ever had. I released an energy I could only describe as ‘total shock’, it wooooooshed out the top of my head. I relived for about 30 seconds the moment I had been told that Grady had died. (When the Police actually told me, I experienced it as surreal, not shocking). It was like a panic attack, my breath was very deep as the energy moved through me, “this can’t have happened, it can’t be true, how can this have happened”, and then it was….GONE.
When I stepped off the massage table, I looked at the man who did the session, and I said “What did you do to me?! Wow…You’re a witch doctor or something” and I laughed. And laughed.
And laughed. Hysterically for about half an hour. He left the room, and told me to just come out when I was ready. He was a bit taken aback, but he knew it was my process, and he let me have it.
This all happened in one week. The only thing I consciously planned to do was the Reiki attunement. But I now fully understand that my intention to find healing was at the core of everything that happened.
So I had that big beautiful LOVE I’d received in the Reiki. I had awakened energy in my hands for self healing. I had started making Flower Essences, and journalling my experiences, because there were no books to teach me how to do it. I learnt entirely from Nature and my own emotional process. It’s a whole magical story of it’s own – I don’t do remedies anymore, because what I learnt about vibrational healing is much more important than what I kept in bottles – and it’s all available, all the time.
But the most surprising thing was the Neurolink. Within a month, I’d done my first training! The Founder ‘just happened’ to be in my area just after I had that first session. I could not deny what I had discovered, even if I didn’t fullly understand it. I just knew I had to do it. Again.
I discovered many other tools and practices along the way. But I soon found that my Neurolink sessions started to go a bit strange – I kept getting intuitive insights that weren’t part of ‘the system’ and I kept wanting to do things in the wrong order and you just weren’t supposed to do that.
I was starting to actually talk to the Innate wisdom in people. It was like the Body was telling me things, like “we need to reset hydration before we can clear that virus properly”. I felt like it was trying to lead me somewhere, and I wasn’t quite sure where, so I just kept listening. I would get intuitive insights into the emotional patterns of illness, because my Essences were showing me without a doubt that there is a relationship between illness and thought/emotional patterns.
And then I discovered BodyTalk.
BodyTalk took everything to a whole new level. A new Paradigm. If I thought I’d had a learning curve previously, this was a Quantum Leap!
BodyTalk is all about talking to Innate! It’s a tapping therapy, like Neurolink (now known as NIS) but we tapped over the Heart, not just the Brain. I learnt that our heart has a more powerful energy field than our brains. I had a whole new relationship with healing.
I felt like I’d come home.
BodyTalk gave me permission, nay, Invited me, to see Connections – the ones I’d been starting to see in my healing and Essence work. Relationships between Emotions, Belief Systems, Trauamatic Events, our Environment, and all our physical Systems. The relationship between our Consciousness and our Body. The relationship of Energy to Form. And I was able to shift deeply held patterns simply, easily, in a nurturing and gentle way. So many ‘aha’ moments were coming for my clients, and each session was teaching me more and more.
After all the years I’d spent in intuitive relationship with the Consciousness of Nature making vibrational remedies, I now fully understood that I could have the same relationship with my own body. That there is a Divine Intelligence in US.
Having this connection is life changing. It’s like having the best life coach or Guide you could ever ask for. One that knows your whole life, everything that’s ever happened to you and how it’s impacted the way you see yourself, the way you see others, how it’s created your patterns and triggers and emotions. Innate knows exactly where the faulty wiring is, and in what order to disentangle you from all your ‘stuff’. Stuff that you’ve acquired. Stuff that isn’t really you, that is released in layer upon layer, revealing more and more of who you are.
BodyTalk also gave me a way to work with everything I’d ever learned. I could receive insight through my own intuition, and also be guided by my clients Innate to use Reiki, Essences, a Guided visualisation, specific techniques, a Clearing for their home – whatever was needed for their healing, their energetic release and transformation in that moment. I also knew what I was doing was lasting in effect, that sessions keep working after we ‘finish’, having set shifts in motion.
I gotta say, it was a little scary at first! But now, 12 years into ‘BodyTalking’, I look forward to not knowing what to do until your Innate tells me! It’s so much more exciting, interesting, inspiring, revealing and freeing. I am constantly blown away by how much wisdom we are carrying in all our cells, how our whole life journey is held within, and how perfectly each shift shows up in the right moment. And how it’s perfectly reflected in our body’s symptoms – our body is actually sending us messages all the time. I used to hope specific things would surface in my own sessions, but now I am much more excited to see what shows up that I didn’t expect. Because there isn’t any rush, if you’re on a life long journey of becoming more and more who you are.
I also understand something else, really, really important.
I feel so much support around each of my clients. I feel so much LOVE. Even if you have absolutely no conscious connection to Spirit/God/Souce – whatever you’d like to name it – it’s absolutely connected to you. I would even say it IS YOU.
It’s what I felt when I received my Reiki Attunement. (You don’t have to get Reiki to get it! But it is one of the loveliest ways…) It’s what carried me through that long dark night, when I thought I was broken and completely alone. I wasn’t.
It’s what I felt in the first days after my partners death. The veil really was thin – I got a taste of a connection that felt unusual at the time, but that now is my day to day reality. I have an amazing relationship with my self, my life, my guides, my work, my body…even as it all is still a process of ongoing healing and change.
I also have a beautiful friendship with a beautiful Man that left this earth for reasons that I do now understand.
He felt broken. He didn’t know he was loved. He saw only a planet that he thought of as our Mother, that he felt we were all killing, and it broke his heart. He couldn’t connect with any meaning in being here, and he didn’t believe he’d chosen to come, and that broke his mind. He knew his trauma but not how to heal. Being so disconnected to his own Source Self, he couldn’t connect with the new life he’d been part of creating, or the actual Mother that brought that new soul into the world – Me – and that broke our family.
He just couldn’t reach joy or inspiration anymore, and I know how that feels, so I hold nothing but compassion for him. Because I know we don’t just ‘get over things’ with time. You can cope, or sometimes you just can’t. I realise now he wasn’t being cruel or selfish. I I feel his presence right now as I write, honouring me, loving me. I see him as an ally, one of many souls in my great big Soul Family.
I still have a deep relationship with Grief. I still know it backwards, forwards and upside-down. But I now offer healing for an entirely different reason.
I am a healer because I found the Treasure in my Trauma. I received the Gift that was being offered to me.
Not only that – I found that my whole life has been an adventure my soul is having as a human, and my soul is loving every minute of it! I discovered I’m perfect as I am, and that just being me is living my purpose. I realised I can and must choose my own Joy to have the life I want. I know that some days will feel like they suck, but I understand a shift is taking place when that happens, so there’s no need to panic. I know I’m always moving forward, that all the shifts are awesome, and that Joy shows me the path. I realised that healing is not just about making our body and mind more well, although that’s what happens. It’s really about becoming more and more Light Hearted, because our True Self is all Light.
I saw that there is Magic in all of life, and in me, and realised I knew how to Make Everyday Magic.
So would you like to join me?
I offer Personal Healing sessions to anyone, anywhere, by Distance Healing. It will be about 90 minutes long, and we’ll connect about what you’re wanting to work on beforehand. You’ll also get a recorded report afterward. It will be all about the shift happening in your body, your health and your relationship with yourself and your own life.
To book your session, contact me HERE.
I look forward to meeting you.